Emotional Intelligence – knowing what needs to be done, understanding that other people have different priorities, and figuring out how to get them to buy-in.

Emotional Intelligence is not easy and does not come natural for most people simply because most people are thinking of themselves most of the time, not other people. In other words, we operate from our own motivations, desires, and wants. And guess what, other people are doing the exact same thing and aren’t necessarily ready to drop their dreams in order to fulfill yours. Unless you can get them to see what your way does for them.

Why would you want to bother developing this skill? Because every single day you have to persuade and influence other people and it’s much more effective if you can get other people to see what’s in it for them, rather than convince them to see what’s in it for you. Whether you’re in business for yourself and you have to persuade customer’s to buy from you or you lead a team and you need to convince your employees to get on board with the vision, you are always in the state of influencing and persuading.

Why is it so hard to develop this skill? Because developing EQ takes time, patience, self-awareness, awareness of others, and discernment just to name a few. It’s a tall order for us ordinary human beings who want what we want and we want it now. Becoming self-aware begins with understanding your style and what your natural behavioral tendencies are. This information is invaluable when developing EQ. We use the DiSC® assessment with our clients. Once you know your style, you can learn how to read other people and determine the best way to approach them.

Discernment means knowing the difference between being right and being happy. It’s about knowing when to fight for something and when to let go. Not everything can be a fight, sometimes the most intelligent thing you can do is let someone else have their way.

Ideas for developing this skill: Ask lots of questions to find out the other person’s perspective. Try to put yourself in their shoes to gain empathy and understanding. Don’t try to convince other people to see it your way, strive to see it their way instead. Remember that skill building takes time and this is a tough one to master.

Developing this skill will make you a better leader, a better business person, and an all-around better person.