The inspiration for this week comes from an article I read titled 20 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do. This is #9…

“Sh*t happens. Life can be hard. People get hurt; others die. Life isn’t all roses and butterflies. You will fall off that horse again and again and again. The question is, are you strong enough to keep getting back on it?”

Sound harsh? I don’t think so. I’ve spent plenty of time feeling sorry myself. I can assure you that dwelling on the negativity never helped me move forward. Not once. Even worse was sharing the misery with others. It is true that misery loves company.

Talking about problems is fine but it’s only half the equation. The other half of the equation is usually missing – talking about a solution. I never used to be interested in finding solutions, at least not ones that were good for me. It was so much more satisfying to focus on the problem. Or so I thought. Over time I learned that talking about the problem only needs to be a small fraction of the problem/solution ratio.

I have found that 10:90 problem:solution ratio was better than my old ways of a 90:10.  I used to spend most of my time in the problem.  Things changed for me when I got tired enough of myself to want to change. These days I want solutions. I want to be around people who want solutions. I want to work with clients who want solutions. Sitting in the problem is not the solution. I can either accept things as they are or I can do something. Not accepting and not doing anything are no longer options.

If you want to start focusing more on solutions, here’s a little step by step formula to follow:

1)  Identify the problem in just a few words.  No more than one sentence.  Don’t get caught in the drama of it all.

2)  Come up with 5 things you can do about it.

3)  List the pros and cons of each option.

4)  Decide on the best course based on the information you have.

5)  Take action!

My encouragement for you is that you will identify one problem you’ve been complaining about (if you can’t think of any, ask someone close to you, I’m sure they can help you find something) and go through this process of getting to the solution.  You’ll be way better off.

Remember, you achieve whatever you believe as long as you are willing to work for it!

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Liz Uram is the owner of The Coach & Mentor Group, the best choice for business development.  Download your free eBook ‘5 Ways To Boost Your Business Now!‘